Caregiver support during periods of high intensity

A birthday photoshoot while Autumn lasts

Disclosure: This article was originally published on 1 December 2025 at https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/caregiver-support-during-periods-high-intensity-sieske-valk-m3aze/?trackingId=nHWO7Fh0THaozgkoysUnDQ%3D%3D

We celebrated Lewis’s 19th birthday last weekend. Our relationship has been one of the longest in my life. In addition, his being the equivalent of a 92-year-old human got me in a reflective mood. 

The age of independence

From what I gather, rearing a cat feels vaguely similar to raising a child - in reverse.

Cats in the first few years of their life are fierce, independent, active at night and bring home unwanted guests just when you try to get to sleep - not unlike that human teenager living in Hotel Mama.

When we were young, Lewis used to cuddle up in bed, but if I showed too much affection by touching his belly or paws, the huffing and puffing would immediately start. 

I’d be worried sick if he were out for hours, not answering my calls. At the end of the day, when he was hungry, he’d come sauntering back after having lounged somewhere in the sun for most of the day, not understanding why I was making such a big fuss.

He’d eat like a horse without fail, stay lean and muscular, and spend an inordinate amount of time maintaining his good looks.

The age of dependence

In contrast, at the end of a cat’s life (or when a baby is just born), primary caregivers need to stick to frequent feeding routines, ensuring enough calorie intake. 

There’s the broken sleep at night due to cognitive dysfunction howling / crying. 

There’s the shared joy in a caregiver team when a good poo has been produced, and they’re hardly able to talk about anything else but the cat's / little one’s progress.

There’s the team work when stripping the bedsheets in the middle of the night due to an unfortunate accident, where one person deals with the bedding and the other is hosing down the cat / baby. 

And let’s not forget the frequent tiny voms caused by regurgitated food or poo straining. 

Basically, caring for a super senior cat / baby is an intense period of ensuring input goes and stays in, output is hygienically removed, and their rest takes precedence over yours.

My Lewis is now a soppy old sod, absolutely fine with touching his paws and belly, and happy to just be near us. As long as his primary needs are met, we have a purry, happy fellow.

Whilst caring for a baby / super senior cat, there’s a deep sense of love for that creature you vowed to take care of. But also a sense of loneliness and not knowing whether you might be missing something. But where young parents have a plethora of paid and free resources to scour when they are just not sure they are “doing it right”, caregivers of senior pets are still left in the dark - alone and often feeling shame for putting so much effort into “just a pet”.

Supporting the caregiver 

Society is increasingly cognisant of the needs of young parents, due to many of them being more vocal about how difficult those first few months are. Sure, there’s still a taboo around talking about post-partum depression, or how the reality just doesn’t meet the expectations. But, despite the fact that fewer people live near their village when raising a family, there are opportunities for connection with other parents nearby to share experiences, highs and lows with. Not to mention the online resources, training and social media advice gurus to support you through the journey. When asking the GP for help, they will be able to give you a list of references and ancillary services which can support you. 

This only sounds natural, right? To be offered psychological, emotional and practical support when you’re going through one of life’s most challenging periods?

So, why is it still up to pet caregivers themselves to go and find that support? And why are  veterinary professionals hardly harnessing the power of an interdisciplinary network to support pet caregivers in need?

What does the pet caregiver need?

I have always been intrigued by this question. When designing support systems for veterinary and pet businesses, I construct these based on four pillars:

• Managing physical comfort

• Ensuring emotional comfort

• Harnessing social support

• Creating a feeling of control

The Four Pillars of Holistic Palliative Care I live by

Sounds quite similar to what everyone needs, right? To be free from pain, feel connected with others, have a sense of agency and feel psychologically safe.

But what this means on a more granular level is very personal. We don’t know what another person needs when they are going through a life-changing period, such as the palliative or hospice phase of their companion animal of 15+ years. We don’t know the associations they have with their pet’s life and death. The only thing we can do to know for sure is ask - and listen.

Designing a framework as the foundation for personalisation

I do believe, however, that we can set up a basic framework where these needs are globally met, with the option to personalise an approach for each person going through the palliative or hospice phase of their pet. 

These include, but are not limited to:

🍁 A list of (free) resources and education, both virtual and in-person

🍁 A trained team member who checks in with customers 

🍁 An operating system which automises these personalised check-in moments

🍁 Nurse consultations to discuss palliative and hospice matters

🍁 Community support

🍁 And an authentic, thoughtful approach to euthanasia and aftercare

I have created a basic framework that can be incorporated in any veterinary clinic or pet business within a matter of months. It’s not that difficult; it just takes some time and a genuine willingness to improve the lives of your customers and patients. And if you’re not doing it for their sake, then think about what a more holistic, collaborative approach to providing a service can mean for your team...

A thoughtful approach to veterinary palliative and hospice care to improve team wellbeing and customer retention

Why did you choose to go into vet med? I’m sure it’s not to read a negative Google-review of someone who is convinced you’re just in it for the money. I also don’t think it’s because you particularly enjoy putting the deceased body of someone’s best friend in a plastic bag, which feels impersonal and disrespectful. And I’m sure you’re not in it to go home feeling guilty knowing you could / should have helped out that person in distress a bit more, if only you had the resources (time, staff, someone to refer them to). 

🧡 Imagine starting your day reading yet another 5-star Google review or helping a handful of new customers and patients who came to your surgery through word-of-mouth advertisement.

🧡 Imagine the team's satisfaction when they’re able to provide cradle-to-grave care to a family and be remembered for how you made them feel (in a positive way).

🧡 Imagine being part of a team that not only learns from each other, but also supports each other through challenging cases, takes the time to debrief and learn, in order to do better next time. 

🧡 And imagine going home at the end of the day, knowing you have done everything you could to support that family, and it was enough. You ensured they had a beautiful experience at the end of their best friend’s life, and will probably return with the newest family member when the time is right.

The power of interdisciplinary veterinary palliative care and hospice is huge, for pets, caregivers and veterinary teams. It has the potential to change lives and relationships, how long or short they may be.

Sies.

---

About me

My name is Sieske Valk (pronounced as Sees-kuh Falk). I started my career as a veterinary nurse in the Netherlands. After a short stint working as a climate change researcher, I set up an animal care company in London, called Sies Petcare. This grew into Autumn Animals, the UK’s first holistic palliative and hospice care organisation. Trained as an end-of-life doula for companion animals, I supported numerous families through the autumn of their furry friend’s life, and after. I live with Lewis the cat (19) and husband Jamie, in beautiful Devon.

I now support veterinary businesses that want to improve their palliative and hospice services and support their team through challenging cases. If you’d like to have a chat about this, go to www.calendly.com/autumnanimals or visit autumnanimals.com for more information.